June
It occurs to me that the partners of Alzheimer sufferers have to find the strength to perform duties for which we are untrained; we may be deprived of rest and relaxation at a time when we may ourselves be most vulnerable. We may be infirm or unwell, and society often ignores the fact that we become co-sufferers.
The disease affects everyone in the family; it is usually the one closest to the patient who bears the greatest burden. Family members often do not realize the primary caregiver needs some time off, and it is important for them to take a share of the responsibilities. Family members need to know that well-meaning donations of an hour or two, now and then, are insufficient. Not just time, but understanding and empathy are needed in vast quantities. It is very lonely to take care of an ailing loved one, whatever the cause of the ailment, and helping hands are gratefully accepted.
Fate has dealt an unfair hand to caregivers; we have no choice but to move on, doing the best we can for our loved ones. Our days are never-ending - Alzheimer's disease has no clocks or calendars. Daytime or nighttime, when duty calls we must be there.
The Alzheimer's Society provides counseling and support groups for caregivers. This invaluable service is what saves the sanity of many of us: sharing one's experiences with others in the group is cathartic and therapeutic, and it helps us to put our concerns into perspective.
There are many other services offered by the Alzheimer's Society, most of them are not well-known, but with more education we hope everyone will begin to understand the various forms of dementia. We must address our reluctance to face facts. Dementia is a manifestation of a broken brain and we must treat it as we would treat a broken limb, with care and understanding.
Statistics show that the ageing population is increasing rapidly. As people live longer, dementias of all types will become even more common; care facilities will become swamped, so education becomes more and more imperative. Our children should be prepared to understand that they may be next in line to need care.
June Solntseff
